is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
that is very illegal...i love you.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
