one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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