just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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