doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Randomize
