I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
