u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
