you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
