Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
