awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
