I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
