Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
