you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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