Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Everything about him screamed your future.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
