Where is the hickey?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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