Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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