I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
