Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
