Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
