I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
