i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
