I'm gonna have a badass scar
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
