and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
