Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
