ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.