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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?

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• (845): View more from New York

  Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.

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• (845): View more from New York

  my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (318): View more from Louisiana

  They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I will have no part of this.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.

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• (347): View more from New York

  Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals

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