This house was built for laser tag.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked