Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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