We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
