Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
