i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I smell stomach acid.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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