I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
