I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
