i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
