from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
