Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
After last night, I could never be a politician.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
