The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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