Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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