I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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