i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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