I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
