we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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