Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize