So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
