Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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