I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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