i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
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He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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