sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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