I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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