yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize