I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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