I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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