This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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