So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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