Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
