I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I'm really busy with my period
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