Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
