You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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