Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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