The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The feeling are messing with the penis
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize