Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
